Living Through Rejection

I keep falling down to my knees,
and I keep getting right back up.
Yet the rejections keep coming.

I try to deal with disappointment.
I try to have faith that I will make it.
Yet I keep falling down and failing.

No matter how hard I work at life,
No matter what I do with my life,
Nothing is changing for the better.

College did not change my life.
Working hard did not change my life.
I still have the same job I had before.

I keep having faith that I will succeed,
I keep applying to jobs and praying to God,
Yet I am still stuck in the same spot.

My life is remaining unchanged.
My life feels hopeless and worthless.
Yet I keep telling myself to keep going.

I will climb out of the hole in the ground.
I will succeed and be something more.
I need to do more than this with my life.

Goodbye "Friend"

Like a swarm of maggots over the trash,
Your hateful lies have eaten me alive.
I can't handle your misery anymore.

You always find my secret hiding place,
Whenever I try to escape your evilness.
Your schemes are as lame as daffy ducks.

Your immature ways no longer scare me.
I am ready to face your rentless, ruthless wrath.
You are more cowardly than the cowardly lion.

My pity for you is dry like a deserted desert,
My trust broke when the mob showed up on my doorstep.
My trust should have broke when the rumors started.
 
I was decieved by your stupid lies,
I thought to myself, my friend would never pass rumors.
For the longest time, I defended you.

Even as it became more obvious,
I still stood by your side and stayed your good friend.
Without proof, why would I ever blame you?

You played me as a pawn in your game,
If you were ever my friend you would have told the truth.
Rumors and lies are never the answer.

You told lies about people I love;
Terrible lies that made me look weak and stupid.
Until the suits came, I had no real proof.

Lucky for me them showing up gave me a sign,
A sign that you were behind all these things.
Everyone told me they didn't send them over.

Other than them, only you could send them.
By deduction, there was my proof of your guilty verdict.
That ended our friendship forever.

I am not headed for a divorce;
My husband has NEVER raised a hand to my skin.
I also am stronger than you think.

These actions are why I am not your friend,
While I should have confronted you about this,
I was too hurt to even face you.

I was upset about losing you,
But I could not condone your disgusting lies.
Real friends never hurt their friends this way.

This is my way of saying goodbye to you.
While I miss you, I am better without you.
Time for me to move on and find real friends.

A Letter to My So Called Former "Friend"

Dear Person Who Perpetually Took Advantage of Me,

I am not going to let you win and beat me down. You think you can take me over and rule over me like an overbearing parent. This is where you are wrong. Don't mistake a nice person for a doormat. I am not going to let you wipe your filth on me and make me feel worthless. Your crazy antics are not bringing me down and I am using my time away from you to better myself. I always thought you were helping me, but really you were hurting me.

I let your manipulative actions cloud my mind and I lost control of myself and forgot who I was. Your growing web of lies was covering my judgement and turning it into a fog. Once I was able to untangle myself from you and stop being your prey, I started to see what a pathological liar you really are. I believe you will be exposed for what you are and who you really are as time passes by. You will get pay back for the lies you told about the person you called "my best friend"! I don't need to enact revenge, I fully believe God and the universe itself will take care of that for me. What comes around, goes around so watch your deceitful back! Don't let the door hit your behind on the way out of my life, you have hurt me more than you would ever know or care to know! Goodbye and good riddance to you. I am better off without you in my life and am over letting you walk all over me.

Rae Jeannine