Monday, July 30, 2012

Bad Times Do Not Last Forever

Life keeps handing me wavy lines when I am looking for straight lines.
My emotions go up and down as often as the stock market does daily.
One minute everything seems good and then tragedy strikes me down.
I bite the dust like a decrepit, sick person heading to their death bed.

My mental state feels like I got beaten with a belt one too many times.
I have bleeding "scratches" beneath the surface that only I can see.
I wear my newly formed scars from my daily battles behind my armor.
I do not want anyone to see my weaknesses and negative emotions.

I desire to appear in control, content, and full of nothing but happiness.
However I have a dark, depressed side that dwells deep inside of me.
I every day I put on a happy face and show everyone that I am strong.
Yet some days that smile is a lie and inside I am screaming and crying.

I try to see the good and be thankful in all aspects of my everyday life.
Some days that is difficult for me, I am of a pessimist and realist nature.
I have difficulty dreaming and being optimistic about anything in my life.
I work hard to see the good, because I know that there is always good.

Beneath the dirt, great things can be found like a glimmer of pure gold.
I need to see that in the end that these terrible situations will not last.
Eventually something will give and a good, calm wave will come for me.
Then I can ride that wave onwards to dry land where I will be safe again.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Ten Things You May Not Know About Me Part 2

Hi everyone, I did a post about 10 things You May Not Know About Me last June during a time where I experienced a large increase in blog traffic. Now I have almost 150 facebook fans, planning a giveaway for when I reach fan #150. Tell your friends about this blog and have them like the blog on facebook! Here are ten more facts about me you may not know about me:

Ten More Things About Me

1. I no longer have a best friend, I simply have a few good friends now. Unfortunately some things don't last forever.

2. I am a business Major at Drexel University through their online program and became a senior not too long ago. I will be graduating next year!

3. I have a job that is demanding and often stressful, but I enjoy parts of the job.

4. My marriage is not as secure as some think. Working on making the marriage last, but I am not sure if we will last. That being said, I believe in giving everything as much effort as I can. I don't want to give up too easily. Makes me sad that I am going through a hard time there, but some of this is my own fault. I hope to beat the odds in my family and have my marriage stay intact; most marriages in my family don't last.

5. I am a very independent person and hate relying on others for things.

6. I am a perfectionist, especially with school and work. In some ways this is great and in other ways this perfectionism is a major flaw.

7. I am a Christian, but a gay friendly one that is pro gay marriage, and leans towards the liberal side!

8. In general I am a frugal/practical person and buy as many things on sale as I can. Especially food and clothes. I have no shame in using coupons or shopping off sale and clearance racks.

9. I lost my grandmother on my stepdad's side recently due to COPD complications. Cherishing the time I have left with my remaining grandfather and grandmother on my mom's side of the family. I will be heartbroken when they pass away.

10. I am in general a very honest person and work hard to be honest in a way that I don't come off as mean. I hate lying and I hate when people tell me lies! Honesty is the best policy.

If there is something about me you would like to know or have questions about, please comment on this post or email me at

Friday, July 20, 2012

An Overdue, Brief Update...

While I am currently experiencing a bit of writer's block, I have decided to simply write anyway. I have a lot on my mind lately and my life is in the process of undergoing some major changes. Some of them involve me and others involve family and friends who are going through significant changes. Apparently the way things were was not good enough, it had to change. I just want to be happy and feel free to write again with a positive attitude. I need to find a way to be happy and feel positive again. Sigh...

PLEASE COMMENT and tell me some topics you would like me to write about. That would help a lot! Thanks readers for sticking by me during this difficult time.