Bad Times Do Not Last Forever

Life keeps handing me wavy lines when I am looking for straight lines.
My emotions go up and down as often as the stock market does daily.
One minute everything seems good and then tragedy strikes me down.
I bite the dust like a decrepit, sick person heading to their death bed.

My mental state feels like I got beaten with a belt one too many times.
I have bleeding "scratches" beneath the surface that only I can see.
I wear my newly formed scars from my daily battles behind my armor.
I do not want anyone to see my weaknesses and negative emotions.

I desire to appear in control, content, and full of nothing but happiness.
However I have a dark, depressed side that dwells deep inside of me.
I every day I put on a happy face and show everyone that I am strong.
Yet some days that smile is a lie and inside I am screaming and crying.

I try to see the good and be thankful in all aspects of my everyday life.
Some days that is difficult for me, I am of a pessimist and realist nature.
I have difficulty dreaming and being optimistic about anything in my life.
I work hard to see the good, because I know that there is always good.

Beneath the dirt, great things can be found like a glimmer of pure gold.
I need to see that in the end that these terrible situations will not last.
Eventually something will give and a good, calm wave will come for me.
Then I can ride that wave onwards to dry land where I will be safe again.

Gratitudes A to Z (and a Special mention to a Blogger)

Note: This post is inspired by Shar who writes at this blog below:

http://sharmartinez.blogspot.com/

She has done some gratitude posts about her daily life which have inspired me to stop and think about everything I have in my life. Thank you Shar for making me stop and think about the good things in my life. So often it is easy to focus on the negative even when so many positive things are already in your life. I encourage you all to check out her awesome blog. My personal gratitudes of my current life are listed below:

Gratitudes (Things I am Thankful For in My Life):

Air to breathe and feel as I walk and run around outside.
Best friend who understands me and listens when I speak.
Computer for writing, do schoolwork, and so much more.
Drexel, the university which I attend and work at most days.
Earnings from my job which pay the bills and so much more.
Food to feed me physically and in so many other ways.
God to guide me and teach me how to be a better person.
Housing to keep me dry and protect me from the elements.
Iced coffee to keep me energized and for me to enjoy regularly.
Jeans that cover my bottom and make me feel good about me.
Kitties to keep me company even when I am home alone.
Love from others around me to keep me from feeling lonely.
Mother, who gave birth to me and raised me and my brother.
Niece and nephew who remind me how precious children are.
Organized shelves and closets. I like being able to find things.
Phone to keep me connected to those I love who are far away.
Quartz and other jewelry, especially earrings. Makes me feel pretty.
Rock music, I love the pounding beat, screams, and singing bands do.
Singing, it is a vocal medium which I can express myself through.
Television, it entertains me and helps me relax before I go to sleep.
Umbrellas to keep the rain from ruining my hair and wetting me.
Vibrant flowers which cheer me up when I see them outside lately.
Water to cleanse me from the dirt and quench my thirst each day.
X-rays and other medical equipment which check our health.
You all here, I love reading the comments people make on my blogs.
Zippers, which keep pants from showing too much to the world.

There are so many more things I love about life, this is just a snapshot of the things from A to Z that excite me about life at this point.