I am lucky to be alive today,
The trama from my past,
Could have ended my life.
The brusing of my nose,
Almost broke me once,
And made me afraid.
The inappropriate touches,
Made me unable to trust,
And unable to engage in life.
My dealings with relationships,
Will never feel fully functional,
The past has damaged me.
My ways of coping with abuse,
Could have put me in danger,
I am lucky to be okay today.
I am trying to learn how to live,
Without being abused or used,
and without turning to my vices.
If I go back to the way I was,
I will painfully kill myself slowly,
And I will not live my life fully.
That is why I fight to be better,
I am saving my life by being clean,
I can't let the past rule my destiny.
I have to let go of my past tramas,
And move on from my abuses,
Inflicted by others and myself.
I will live without self medicating,
I will let myself feel my emotions,
and I will work through them.
The rest of my life can be lived,
My past does not define today,
I can be functional and present.
I am lucky I didn't do worse,
So lucky to be beating addiction,
And not letting the beast beat me.
I can stay away from the triggers,
And I can continue to fight for me,
Because I want to be alive and well.
My tramas and my own medications,
They will no longer beat me down,
I am fighting back so I can live life.
A blog featuring poems, short stories, diary style writing, and short plays from aspiring author Rae. Feedback and comments are strongly encouraged whether they are negative or positive.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Taking Action Against Wrongs Committed
Be strong in everything you do,
Conquer all your obstacles.
Be an adult with your actions,
You cannot take them back.
Stand up to all the world's injustices,
Even when no one else will do so.
Your actions travel like a rapid fire,
Catching on a flammable object.
The unspoken need your voice,
To be saved from the evil doers.
Your booming stance is strong,
Stand up to all those wrong things.
If you do stand up and others do so,
There is no telling what we can change.
We all are responsible for ourselves,
Those against injustice must be united.
We can be brave and fight all those wrongs,
We won't do so for a cookie or a gold metal.
Our fight is simply for the love of humanity,
and our fight will never stop and go on forever.
Conquer all your obstacles.
Be an adult with your actions,
You cannot take them back.
Stand up to all the world's injustices,
Even when no one else will do so.
Your actions travel like a rapid fire,
Catching on a flammable object.
The unspoken need your voice,
To be saved from the evil doers.
Your booming stance is strong,
Stand up to all those wrong things.
If you do stand up and others do so,
There is no telling what we can change.
We all are responsible for ourselves,
Those against injustice must be united.
We can be brave and fight all those wrongs,
We won't do so for a cookie or a gold metal.
Our fight is simply for the love of humanity,
and our fight will never stop and go on forever.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Ending The Addiction Cycle
I just want something to numb the pain,
Yet I don’t want to be addicted again.
So tired of my past hurting me randomly,
Just when I believe I am healed and well.
Someone save me from my inner disease,
Save me from my own messed up mind.
My memories and emotions are troubling,
I need to let them go and move on again.
This time I would like to end the cycle,
This circle of moving on and going back.
I want to stop the inner crying in my head,
I want to stop the tears from leaking out.
I am done feeling sad about my past,
So done feeling guilty and regretful about life.
Time for me to move on ahead into the future,
See what good things I can do in my life.
I need to look at the positives in life,
For the sake of my sanity and well being.
I am done being a victim of my past,
I am ready to live in a better tomorrow.
I can conquer this vicious beast and be free,
I no longer need to cry about what is done.
Now is all about what there is left to do,
And how to do those things without an addiction.
I can conquer this if I trust and reach out to others,
Finally I can admit that I cannot change by myself.
Only a higher power and the help of others will work,
I have tried changing on my own and have failed.
However I can still change with some outside help,
I can be someone to be proud of in my future.
My past does not have to define me forever,
My present and future can redefine who I am.
I am ready to be someone else for the rest of my life,
I am ready to become my true self without apologies.
I surrender my old “happy” self I put up for others,
Today I am a new person and I finally am who I am.
Yet I don’t want to be addicted again.
So tired of my past hurting me randomly,
Just when I believe I am healed and well.
Someone save me from my inner disease,
Save me from my own messed up mind.
My memories and emotions are troubling,
I need to let them go and move on again.
This time I would like to end the cycle,
This circle of moving on and going back.
I want to stop the inner crying in my head,
I want to stop the tears from leaking out.
I am done feeling sad about my past,
So done feeling guilty and regretful about life.
Time for me to move on ahead into the future,
See what good things I can do in my life.
I need to look at the positives in life,
For the sake of my sanity and well being.
I am done being a victim of my past,
I am ready to live in a better tomorrow.
I can conquer this vicious beast and be free,
I no longer need to cry about what is done.
Now is all about what there is left to do,
And how to do those things without an addiction.
I can conquer this if I trust and reach out to others,
Finally I can admit that I cannot change by myself.
Only a higher power and the help of others will work,
I have tried changing on my own and have failed.
However I can still change with some outside help,
I can be someone to be proud of in my future.
My past does not have to define me forever,
My present and future can redefine who I am.
I am ready to be someone else for the rest of my life,
I am ready to become my true self without apologies.
I surrender my old “happy” self I put up for others,
Today I am a new person and I finally am who I am.
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