Lucky To Be Here Today

I am lucky to be alive today,
The trama from my past,
Could have ended my life.

The brusing of my nose,
Almost broke me once,
And made me afraid.

The inappropriate touches,
Made me unable to trust,
And unable to engage in life.

My dealings with relationships,
Will never feel fully functional,
The past has damaged me.

My ways of coping with abuse,
Could have put me in danger,
I am lucky to be okay today.

I am trying to learn how to live,
Without being abused or used,
and without turning to my vices.

If I go back to the way I was,
I will painfully kill myself slowly,
And I will not live my life fully.

That is why I fight to be better,
I am saving my life by being clean,
I can't let the past rule my destiny.

I have to let go of my past tramas,
And move on from my abuses,
Inflicted by others and myself.

I will live without self medicating,
I will let myself feel my emotions,
and I will work through them.

The rest of my life can be lived,
My past does not define today,
I can be functional and present.

I am lucky I didn't do worse,
So lucky to be beating addiction,
And not letting the beast beat me.

I can stay away from the triggers,
And I can continue to fight for me,
Because I want to be alive and well.

My tramas and my own medications,
They will no longer beat me down,
I am fighting back so I can live life.