Monday, June 21, 2010

Zig Zag To My True Self

I go back and forth on my path through life,
Feeling as mixed up as a tossed salad.
I am trying to learn how to always be myself,
Even though what I am is not accepted.

I may be different, but I still need to be loved,
I may not be you, but I am okay as I am.
There is no need for me to constantly question,
Your judgements shouldn't shake me up.

Going back and forth between pleasing others,
And pleasing myself is exhausting me.
I may not be a conventional or "normal" person,
But I am still a good and valid person.

There are parts of me I still have trouble sharing,
Due to fears of rejection and ridicule.
While my friends are able to accept me already,
My family is light years behind them.

In the past, my few, true expressions of myself,
Have been thown away with the trash.
My family laughed at my feelings and my views,
I was expected to be them in my body.

That is why I have been unable to share myself,
With family for the past several years.
My sexuality is sinful to them as are my opinions;
My politics and choices are all "wrong".

Despite all of that, I am sick of playing pretend,
I long to be my self when with my family.
They are supposed to love me more than others,
I am linked to them by blood and DNA.

It is time for me to be myself everywhere I go,
Time to stop being an actress in my life.
I am not playing a part in a play written for me,
I am the director of my unwritten destiny.

Going to change and stop being afraid of them,
Since this is my life to live to the fullest.
I want to live with no regrets and in total honesty,
I am going to live unapologically now.

1 comment:

NewGilmoreGirl said...

I love this poem! It is beautiful. Thanks for sharing such a personal part of yourself. (assuming this is autobiographical, of course!)