Ending The Addiction Cycle

I just want something to numb the pain,
Yet I don’t want to be addicted again.
So tired of my past hurting me randomly,
Just when I believe I am healed and well.

Someone save me from my inner disease,
Save me from my own messed up mind.
My memories and emotions are troubling,
I need to let them go and move on again.

This time I would like to end the cycle,
This circle of moving on and going back.
I want to stop the inner crying in my head,
I want to stop the tears from leaking out.

I am done feeling sad about my past,
So done feeling guilty and regretful about life.
Time for me to move on ahead into the future,
See what good things I can do in my life.

I need to look at the positives in life,
For the sake of my sanity and well being.
I am done being a victim of my past,
I am ready to live in a better tomorrow.

I can conquer this vicious beast and be free,
I no longer need to cry about what is done.
Now is all about what there is left to do,
And how to do those things without an addiction.

I can conquer this if I trust and reach out to others,
Finally I can admit that I cannot change by myself.
Only a higher power and the help of others will work,
I have tried changing on my own and have failed.

However I can still change with some outside help,
I can be someone to be proud of in my future.
My past does not have to define me forever,
My present and future can redefine who I am.

I am ready to be someone else for the rest of my life,
I am ready to become my true self without apologies.
I surrender my old “happy” self I put up for others,
Today I am a new person and I finally am who I am.