An Ode to Spring

With February among us I start longing for you,
I wish to feel the warm, gentle breezes again.
I miss the sun's warm embrace of my skin.

Depression hangs over me like a storm cloud,
One that persistently wants to rain on me.
How I long to have a blue sky over me again.

The bitterly cold winds smack me in the face,
Hitting me like an abuser hitting its victim.
This wind is almost enough to keep me inside.

The snow is beautiful when it first hits the ground,
However its beauty is soon ruined by footprints.
Cars and dog walking doesn't help the snow any.

The trees are a skeleton of what they used to be,
The leaves are long gone and only branches remain.
Like many of the animals, the trees are hibernating.

Spring, I am glad you are coming soon to save us all,
That March will bring your calmer, nicer temperament.
May you help me lift this darkness away from me.

Bi Polar Body Images

Sometimes when I look in the mirror,
I view my physical body as fat, ugly, and gross.
Even when I am thin and have lost weight,
There are times that I view myself this way.

Other times when I look in the mirror,
I see a pretty woman that is healthy and strong.
Those days I don't hate myself and how I look,
Since I look fine and see what I really look like.

I often wonder which image is real?
Am I fat and ugly or pretty and healthy?
The mirror is not an accurate judge,
The answer changes from day to day.

Really I should not care so much,
Yet my looks are important to me.
My values take a higher priority,
Yet I put a high value on my appearance.

I realize mentally that who I am matters,
but part of me is vain and overly rigid.
I need to be healthy, but not so critical.
Who I am is more important than the mirror.