Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Goodbye Depression

Depression, oh I despite you. You take away my desire to leave the house. You try to put me under a spell of laziness involving mindless television and solitary confinement. When you are around, I feel the need to be alone constantly. You tell me to stay away from other people and to just shut myself away from the world. My computer and my television is all I need according to you.

You also want me to medicate myself, so that I forget that I am feeling down. You give me ideas to drink up, smoke up, harm myself, and to either eat whatever I feel like eating or severely restrict my eating to gain control of myself and my life. You toy with my mind and with my addictive personality tendencies in order to gain control of me. In the past I would listen to you and would turn to some or all of these things so that I could cope with my life. Your dark cloud of hazy judgement sounds great at the time, but in retrospect your "wisdom" is a recipe for disaster.

This time, I am doing things a little bit differently. I am forcing myself to deal with how I feel. I am making myself stay active both physically and socially. I will not isolate myself from loved ones and close myself off from the world. Also, I am not going to listen to you and use substances or disordered eating patterns as a drug. I am now stronger than that and can fight you. I am still going strong and will get help if you continue to hang around me. I will not let life or the cold weather destroy me. I will not let you take over me and fall for your lies again. This time I am going to stay healthy in all aspects of my life. I am done letting you take over me.I am ready to get rid of my depressive state in any way I can without causing any harm to myself.

1 comment:

dys·func·tion said...

Good for you! Depression is a tough mofo to battle, but if you keep telling yourself that you are stronger than it since your mind is the one (hormonally) creating it, then I am certain you will conquer it.

Thinking of you!