Come on busy bodies and nosy individuals!
Come on down to the Gigantic Gossip Mall,
A one stop shop for all your gossipping needs.
Here you will find rumors you think are true.
Silky scandals will be hanging on store racks.
A breaking news bulletin is blasted constantly,
Through our state of the art loud, sound system.
Anything you want to know about anyone is here,
Even what others would never want you to know.
No secrets are safe at the Gigantic Gossip Mall.
No one will judge you for having no life to live.
We all gossip and share rumors and secrets here.
All the cool kids come here and spread it around.
After all, life is one big high school filled with crap.
So come on down to our Gigantic Gossip Mall,
And get in on all the fun while news supplies last.
After all, what more do you have to do today!