Imprisoned in the Mind by the Past

You ponder various things in your mind each night.
You dwell on the same negative thoughts of yesterday,
Like laundry cycling in the washer and then in the dryer.
Eventually these repetitious thoughts overtake your mind.

No longer can you see or hear anything else around you.
Your own thoughts and feelings have created your prison,
Which lock you into your own personal, petite cell in hell.
The physical world now ceases to exist and has vanished.

All you can see is a pessimistic place from your memories,
One where others hurt you and cause never ending pain.
A dismal, dark place where you are a helpless victim.
Violation of your body is mercilessly forced upon you.

No one can save you and hope of running away has passed.
There is nowhere to escape to without being dragged back.
This is bigger than anything that you can fight off or run from.
Every struggle you put up, another mark is beaten onto your body.

Your memories from your dark past is strong and rules you.

All you are to them is a pretty, youthful body to abuse and use.
Your dyed blond hair, pale skin, and rail thin physique attract them.
You hate them and want to see them hurt as much as you do.

You tried to tell others and have them suffer for their deeds,
But all the ears in the walls went deaf and he was found innocent.
Justice will never come for the one that stole your innocence.
They will never payback to you what you lost from their abuse.

All you can do is somehow break out of the prison in your mind.
Find a way to leave your memories behind and live in the present.
This pain is not in the here and now and is no longer happening.
Somehow you escaped this abuse alive despite the odds of living.

The nearly dilapidated, duplex apartment with the dingy decor,
That squeaky, hard twin bed is no longer reality or in your present life.
You no longer are there in an unsafe place and can leave this behind.
This is now in your mind and your abuser is not in your life anymore.

So much is better in the now where you live with two cats and others,
You are no longer alone, abused, or powerless in your life.
Now as an adult you are able to shape your destiny and live your life
Live in the present and stop wasting your time dwelling in the past.

Milestone Reflections

As continue to get older and time goes on,
I cannot help, but wonder what I have done.
Have I lived a productive, good life so far?
Am I living up to all that I can be right now?

I wonder if I will leave any marks on the world,
When my time comes to pass into the next life.
I have always wanted to make the world better,
Will I be able that or serve any good purpose?

So far I like to think that I do that in how I act.
I try to treat others the way I want to be treated.
While there are times I fail and become selfish,
I hope that overall what I do is helpful to others.

One Woman's Troubling Thoughts

Downtown in the brain of a young woman,
Lives many thoughts like people in the city.
Some of these thoughts come and go quickly,
Others thoughts linger longer than they should.

While the quick moving ideas are often good,
Many of the slower thoughts are not so great.
These thoughts cycle like laundry in a washer,
Without a set time for the thinking cycle to end.

Slowly a thought or two takes over her brain,
She dwells and ponders over these thoughts.
Then the thoughts consume her entire being,
They rob her of her precious sleep and sanity.

They take over as if they are living beings,
As parasites she cannot control or get rid of.
She tries watching TV and talking to others,
And she even tries studying to quiet her brain.

Nothing works until she finally is able to sleep,
and passes out from her own mental exhaustion.
The question remains, are those thoughts gone,
Or do they stay there and temporarily hibernate?