Living Through Rejection

I keep falling down to my knees,
and I keep getting right back up.
Yet the rejections keep coming.

I try to deal with disappointment.
I try to have faith that I will make it.
Yet I keep falling down and failing.

No matter how hard I work at life,
No matter what I do with my life,
Nothing is changing for the better.

College did not change my life.
Working hard did not change my life.
I still have the same job I had before.

I keep having faith that I will succeed,
I keep applying to jobs and praying to God,
Yet I am still stuck in the same spot.

My life is remaining unchanged.
My life feels hopeless and worthless.
Yet I keep telling myself to keep going.

I will climb out of the hole in the ground.
I will succeed and be something more.
I need to do more than this with my life.

Can I Come Out Now As the Real Me?

As life takes a turn into the darkness,
Solitary living is no longer a comfort.
While you feel imprisoned in yourself,
You wish someone could rescue you.

You wish that everything would end,
That worries would resolve themselves.
The pressure to handle everything right,
That intense feeling is almost too much.

Trapped tears remain behind my eyes,
Secrets stay safe in the back of my mind.
The pressure to please others is immense,
I yet to learn to not care what they think.

I want to be myself and not have "selves",
But cannot let go of their earned approval.
Actual me contains parts many would hate,
I accept them yet am fearing their rejection.

I am not the person they expect me to be,
I am not straight, conservative, and perky.
Instead I am a realist, free spirited, bisexual,
And not as religious as some would think.

I am ready to let my true self out in my life,
But am fearing rejection and hate from family.
I am fearing being kicked out of certain things,
I fear my life being ruined by my truthfulness.

However, I am no longer comfortable living,
With secrets and my many assumed persona's.
I feel I am old enough to live as my true self,
But am I ready to surrender and face my critics?